Our Summer In Photos

Lots of photos of our summer. It's been a pretty quiet one, low-key for sure most days. With the ages of the girls and therefore, lots of naps, and the heat, we stayed in a lot. We did venture out from time to time to keep from getting shack-wacky and were able to check most things off our "Summer Fun List," so I'm calling it a success. I thought this summer was going to be pretty awful--boys always wanting to get out, girls needing to stay home; but it was my favorite to date. We just had a lot of simple fun at home. There are some notable missing shots, like countless afternoons in the pool, but if I was in the water, I surely had a babe or two in hand. I'm grateful for a relaxing, but wonderful summer.

The boys return home on Saturday. I can't wait to see them. Dreading a little the inevitable retraining that will need to be done after weeks of being spoiled by grandparents, but it's going to happen nonetheless! :) I am very thankful for the more individualized time I was able to have with each of the younger kids because of this trip. It was interesting to watch the dynamics change when Clay left, then Thomas....and I feel like I got to do, sit, hug, spend time with each of them more just because there were fewer of them for a little while. And I know the adventures that the boys had with their grandparents will be treasured memories for always.

Ronnie and I took a little vacation with the girls to California earlier this week, so we were able to have a change of scenery (along with some fantastic southern California weather) and recharge a bit. (Those few pictures aren't uploaded yet.) I loved my time with Ronnie after the girls were in bed. Sitting out on the porch, talking, even reminiscing, while listening to the ocean....pretty sweet. I confess the other two nights I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30, but I guess I needed some R & R that bad.

Anyway, it has been a fun one. Can't believe school begins in just over a week. These last few days with just the girls at home are soon to be my new normal Monday to Friday. Strange. Another huge life change as #2 heads off to Kindergarten. Right now, I'm just looking forward to two huge hugs on Saturday afternoon.

She's A-Growin'

My little one is four months old today. Really hard for me to believe. Another month gone in what seems like a moment of time. I took her in for her check-up today. She weighed in at 12 pounds, 15 ounces, and measured 24 inches. My littlest four month-old to date. She must know this whole growing up thing is hard on me. :)

She truly is so sweet. She loves to be smiled at and talked to and will show her joy in return. She has started to chuckle, though I can't catch it on film. She stops as soon as that red light is in her face. She is mellow and can entertain herself quite well if need be. She's outgrown her need to be swaddled to sleep, mostly because she wants those fingers or thumb to soothe her instead of the pacifier. Most times, she falls asleep quickly on her own. She is loved immensely by her family.

I treasure you, E. And love you beyond words.

Results

Real quick (Mama is tired!)

Got my MRI results yesterday. The brain tumor is benign. I knew it, but still....Praise God! Plan is to recheck again in two to three years unless I start having problems sooner (headaches, vision changes, dizziness, etc.) Different news on the knee. I have a tear in my hamstring--the biceps femoris (long-head) muscle (details just for those of you, Carey, who may have some wisdom for me!) Not at all what I was expecting and not sure what's to be done about it. They are sending me to an orthopedist for that one. We'll see.

Terribly grateful for all your prayers.

Health Update

I had both MRI's last Wednesday. Still awaiting results. Hope to have them by Tuesday. We'll see. My doctor here is notorious for not getting results back to me. Yeah, nice.

In more exciting news, I gave up sugar 11 days ago. As a complete sugar-junkie throughout my life, this is a big deal. I have to say, I feel SO much better. I mean, SO MUCH BETTER! Don't even want the stuff anymore. I'm not saying I'm never going to eat it again, but not like that ever again. Felt gross and lethargic and just generally quite unhealthy. And truly the best side effect, I lost six pounds in the first seven days. Now that's the stuff!

Family Photo

Our family photo taken on Mother's Day which was also Elena's dedication day at church.

Feel so incredibly blessed when I look at this photo. Love my family.

Second Time--Not Easier

My second little man left this morning. I feel heart-broken. I know that sounds dramatic, but I feel that way. Miss him SO much already. I start to cry every time I find a lizard, turtle, dinosaur, or one of his many other beloved critters around the house. The dimetrodon on my bed was the worst. Only two weeks, only two weeks....

His tears just after my millionth hug and kiss at the airport did not help either. He seemed to actually start to get sad as he was hugging Elena before getting out of the van. Then, he rebounded. Then, he started crying. Oh.My.Heart.

Thankfully, he seems to be doing better than me at this point. :)

A Breath of Fresh Air

Saturday night, Ronnie and I went on a real date. A REAL one. And it made me realize two things: 1. It had been a LONG time, and 2. I really needed that. REALLY needed that. Been feeling down lately. I think the pain (which thankfully, is getting better), plus the daily grind have worn me down. I've spent a lot of time over the last week analyzing what a poor job I do of caring for myself. I have this constant battle that rages inside of me. The battle between knowing and feeling. Do you know what I mean? I mean, I can know something in my head (usually the truth), but feel something completely different in my heart. Here's the scenario (my scenario): I know as a mother of four I need to take care of myself in order to take the best care of all the little people (and sometimes a big person....and maybe a person or two at church) who depend on me. I know that is true. Got it. BUT....for some reason, I FEEL that I'm not supposed to need any time to take care of me nor do I actually deserve it. Ugh. Even as I sit here and write this, I struggle with feeling that truth in my life. But....since feelings are not always an accurate reflection of the truth....I'm still faced with what I'm gonna do with me.

I am working on it. Ronnie is so supportive (which in a strange way, makes this even more frustrating) because it really means I am my own worst enemy. I've come up with some plans to allow myself some regular breaks, mostly for good stuff like going to the gym. Anywho, I'll keep you posted on my progress. I suppose whatever I figure out will soon be jolted by the schedule shift that will come with two boys in school full-time. (Will have to post another time on my feelings about T heading off to Kindergarten at the end of the month. Not ready for that.)

So getting back to Saturday night....Ronnie and I headed downtown for a very yummy Mexican dinner. Mmmmm....so good! A fabulous salad! Seriously, the best ever and an equally fabulous daiquiri. Do you know how long it's been since I had a drink? I mean, a pregnancy overlapping with nursing a babe....it's been a long time! Maybe that's why I'm so tense! Just kidding! After dinner, we had tickets to the live show of The Voice. Did anyone watch that? Ronnie and I (probably mostly me, though I know he enjoyed it too) are big fans. The live show was good, not great (they performed all the same songs from the show), but we had a great time being together just the two of us (and I might have had another cocktail there too!) Really was wonderful and filled me with that "new life" I've been so badly needing. It was fun to just be Carrie. And Carrie, Ronnie's wife. But not Carrie, someone's Mom or Carrie the counselor, which if I'm totally honest, can both be draining roles.

We get together with our small group every week and usually leave the three older ones or at least the middles home with the sitter because it gets too late for them. I guess I've been counting that as getting out/date time and it really isn't. I mean, I am getting out and I dearly love our small group. But....we're still taking E, sometimes C, and it's a different kind of life that brings to me. A good kind. Not sure how to explain....hmmm. Just a different kind and not the kind I was lacking. (Not sure any of this makes sense! Apologies!)

So to sum it all up, I feel better, physically and even more so, emotionally. And doing lots of work of me (as always!)