Sad

Sad.

This is pretty much how I feel these last two weeks. The pain has gotten INTENSE in my wrists from the carpal tunnel. Radiates all the way up to both shoulders, though it's most intense at the wrists extending into my fingers and up to my elbows. And it's definitely in both hands now. It's been frustrating. The physical demands of life with a baby and a toddler....and two other kiddos. Just kind of effecting my quality of life. I mean, it hurts to hold my baby. That is hard. You don't realize how much you do with your hands until they hurt like crazy. I'm not sure why this is happening. I look around at all the women that have a few kids and think, "They're not falling apart. Why am I?" It's hard. Trying to figure out what God would have me learn through this.

Ronnie thinks my body is tired. Two close pregnancies. One pregnancy while still caring for a baby. He thinks I need to rest. I am tired; physically, emotionally. Think the last three months are catching up with me. Yesterday, I hurt so bad, I couldn't do anything except what absolutely had to be done. So after the kids are in bed last night, Ronnie had to make a run to the grocery store, clean up the entire day's worth of dirty dishes, and then start work on a paper for his Master's. The poor guy got like three hours of sleep, before getting up for work this morning. He's such a great caretaker. Never complained. I felt so awful for putting all of this on him.

I started physical therapy today for my knee and shoulder. Painful (always is in the beginning), but I'm hopeful that I'll get some relief in those areas. This PT thinks my miniscus is torn as did the last. MRI is scheduled for August 3rd. And I am going to get the double whammy, knee and head, done at the same appointment. Talk about feeling broken. Two MRI's? Who needs that?

We'll see. Trying to figure out that balance thing. Building health and strength, while taking it easy and resting. Seems complicated.

OK, off to rest these weary hands.