Wrapping Up

This is our house right now.  Looked this way since about 4:00 yesterday.  

Feels kinda strange when a house you've lived in for seven years is just a collection of boxes and furniture.  The "home" feeling that makes life there special....gone.  Tomorrow they will load the truck and Sunday, we will embark on a new adventure on the other side of the country.  I'll have to write some other time about my feelings on all this.  Feeling a little detached from it all right now.  Have felt grief in the past weeks.  Mostly now, feel like I'm ready, but I'm also thinking there's probably a bit of denial in there.  Tomorrow night,I hang with my best friend from here and Saturday, we'll hang with our small group for the last time.  Oh, and Sunday morning, we'll worship for the last time with our church family that we have dearly loved for almost seven years.  We'll see how I'm doing after those good-byes.  So far, I've seen everyone I wanted to or will in these next few days.  Written cards to lots who have impacted me/us.  Feeling good about healthy good-byes which is what I prayed for as soon as we knew we were really leaving.

The packers were still supposed to be packing today.  But they brought a crew of six yesterday and made fast work of our belongings.  (Maybe we need more stuff....just kidding!)  Anyway, since we didn't have to be home all day with them, we were able to do a few other things that we had planned for later in the week.  Instead, we got to do them today, with much less rush.  First up, we headed out to Red Rock Canyon to spread Boomer's ashes.  We hiked to the particular stream bed that he loved to play in.  There was no water  at all, but it still had special meaning for us, remembering how much that pup loved to play in the water.  We found a shady spot and sat down.  Ronnie said a prayer.  Then, he and the three big kids took to spreading the ashes.  Elena and I sat peacefully in the shade.  Thomas brought me a handful at one point and I scattered them close by.  I shed a few tears, but mostly it was just peaceful, special, and just right.  

After we were done, I loaded Gab back up in the Ergo and we were set to head back.  Just as we were about to leave our little site, Thomas said, "Look!  Look at this rock!"  

"There's a heart rock right here!"

Sure enough.  There was.  

Sometimes I just love knowing how close He really is.

For Parents of Young Kids without Dogs

I have a serious question.  Whatever do you do to keep your floor clean after meals????  Oh.my.gosh!  I pretty much HAVE to vacuum or sweep after EVERY meal!  This totally stinks!  Pretty sure I'd never cleaned the floor after a meal in nine years of being a parent.  (And I now secretly think you parents of little ones sans dogs are most definitely my heroes!)

Things I Thought I'd Never Miss

Clumps of dog hair....um....everywhere!

An extra body in the kitchen when I'm cooking.

"Let me in!" barks, five seconds after he "asked" to go out.

I sat down to type this list thinking it would be LONG.  Everything I've thought of aside from those three, just makes me chuckle now.  Toenails on the tile, snoring (Clay did a perfect imitation last night when we were talking about how quiet it is without him).  Funny how grief totally changes your perspective.  I even did Clay's chore on Monday (vacuuming the downstairs) just because I wanted to be the one to pick up those last clumps of dog hair.  I hated the dog hair prior to Sunday afternoon.  Really, the only part of owning a dog that I didn't like was the hair.  Now, I even miss that.

Yesterday, I was full of grief.  I mean, it floored me.  Felt suffocated at times.  I don't think I've ever been so sad in my life.  It was so hard to go through our normal day without him.  Every time I sat here or did that, I'd think, "Boomer would be laying there" or "doing such and such."  I pondered how trivial losing a dog must seem to people who never had one; maybe even some who have.  The only explanation I've come up with was that he was just that much a part of our family.  Today, I feel measurably better.  I miss him like crazy still.  Like.crazy....but feel like I can breathe again.

Ronnie and I have reminisced a ton over the last couple days about all the crazy, funny, awful, sweet, infuriating, precious things he did in our 12 1/2 years together.  Looked at lots of pictures.  It's been sweet.  And really hard.

Things I know I'll miss....

Hearing Elena say "Baba" when he walked by.

Petting my dog, especially while he snored away.

Being greeted every morning with his "feed me" shenanigans.

Coming home anytime after 6:00 pm (his dinner time) and being greeted with his "feed me" shenanigans.

Seeing how happy he was everyday when Ronnie walked in from work.

Remembering our favorite friends (who were also Boom's favorite friends) and how he always lost his mind when they came by....even if it had been years in between visits.  Tony and Grace, thinking of you!

I still haven't been able to dump his water bowl out.  I keep telling myself I need to.  Water in the bowl is waiting for a dog and he's not coming back.  Thought I could do it tonight, but I still can't.  We've cleaned up/out a couple things and I packed away a couple things I'm not ready to part with yet.  All in due time, I suppose.

One more thing I know I'll miss....

Clumps of dog hair....everywhere!

Hard to Say Goodbye

Our loyal dog of almost 13 years died today.  So hard to say goodbye.  His health has declined as he's gotten older, mostly just this past year.  In September, he would have turned 13.  Ronnie and I got Boomer on November 2, 1999.  We'd only been married a little over four months.  We lived on the second floor of an apartment.  So dumb to get a dog; a puppy in that situation.  He cost $200 and we couldn't afford him when we first saw the ad from the breeder.  Looking back, I still wouldn't do anything differently.

Ronnie took him to the vet today for a routine check.  He essentially collapsed on the way.  Although we didn't think we had years left with him, we didn't really think today was the day either.  It would have been hard no matter when it happened.  The kids and I were able to make it to the vet in time to say goodbye and love on him one last time.  Ronnie and I stayed with him while he drifted off peacefully.  It was hard to see him that way, but I'm grateful for that time.

This was Boomer just a couple weeks ago....waiting patiently for Elena to drop some food from her highchair.  He was very predictable at meal times (if ill-trained!)  Just a little focused on the task at hand....never mind those blinds!

We have a ton of crazy memories with this guy.  He was a terrible puppy.  It was most definitely our fault.  We had no idea what training a Labrador puppy was like, and remember that apartment?!  But now, remembering him tearing the siding off our base house is just funny.  He destroyed the first piece of furniture we bought as a married couple too.  Countless memories we have of "Boomer Bad Puppy."  But....he was always loyal, always gentle with the kids, loved attention and being pet, and popcorn (among many other things!)  

This was the little tyke not long after we brought him home.  I mean, have you ever seen a cuter pup?!

I hadn't come home to an empty house in almost 13 years until today.  I can't say I liked it....at all.  But....I also knew he couldn't make the cross-country drive that is coming in just a month.  He didn't have any particular health problems though either to justify not bringing him.  Seems God made that decision for us.  I'm glad that he won't have to make a journey that would be so hard on him.  How I would have loved to see him play in the real grass and shade trees of our new backyard in Virginia though for just a day.  

Miss you my sweet, sweet boy.  Thank you for all the years you loved us.